On the Declaration that Giraffes are Kosher

Jews outside of Africa, could we please not eat giraffes? Please, people? Could we please not eat them? Why are we even talking about eating giraffes? I don’t think we should eat giraffes. There are plenty of other things for us to eat, like free-range chicken or delicious tofu. We don’t need to eat giraffes. There’s no reason for us to eat giraffes.

Please, I’m serious. Please don’t eat giraffes. I don’t care if they’re not technically endangered. Let’s not eat them, please.

Please. Don’t eat giraffes.


5 Responses

  1. What about the milk?

  2. The milk is fine, as long as it’s organic.

  3. […] person when I tell you that the entry that finally got me off my duff to add it to my blogroll was a brief, impassioned plea for Jews not to eat giraffes just because they’re kosher. If you only read only fourteen […]

  4. I know this is a bad thought to have, but the idea of a giraffe factory farm is perversely adorable. Imagine driving past that on I-5.

  5. Back in the day, there was some discussion of locating the jewish state in what is now Kenya. That always baffled me.

    But now we know why.

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